Aren't We Exhausted?

127 Dead in Suicide Bombings and Shootings Across Paris

Mizzou's Black Students Cope with Fear Spawned by Death Threats

Six-month-old Shot on Cleveland's East Side

Anonymous Writer Warns John Carroll With Threatening Letters

Headline after headline after headline have come across my newsfeeds about tragedy, destruction and death. Every time I open a web page or a social media site or run into a friend, I get another story about how people have been killed or threatened and for no reason other than because someone didn't like something that they were doing or how they were living their life.

In Paris, dozens of people were killed by radical jihadists. In the US, students in universities have been forced to deal with death threats. Death. Threats. All because they are demanding freedom from racism and discrimination. Kids and adults are being shot all over Cleveland because of continued violence from drugs, gangs, poverty, and much more. And at my alma mater. The gorgeous university I was so proud to graduate from, some psychotic person is distributing threatening letters warning anyone who teaches evolution, supports LGBTQ persons or is an LGBTQ person that they are going to hell and will be punished.

And here we are all arguing about a fucking red cup with overpriced coffee in it.

Are we tired of the violence yet? Are we exhausted at the perpetual loss of life from school shootings and bombings and violence and discrimination all aimed at people simply because they are different?

From what I see from quite a few people it seems like no, no we aren't.

Obviously France should've closed their borders to the thousand upon thousands of people fleeing their countries because they were obviously the ones who blew people up and shot them in cold blood. Why offer sanctuary to people desperate to start over and find a new home? Why think that you can go to a concert and not worry about being killed?

Fleeing your country with nowhere else to go? Want to go enjoy an evening out and not be shot? Too damn bad. You're different.


Obviously teachers should carry guns at schools both elementary and university alike. Why expect schools to be a place of safety and security?

Oh. You want to learn and teach without fear of being shot? Too bad. I don't like what your teaching/learning.

Obviously any LGBTQ person should just expect to be told that being gay is a sickness. You can fix it.

Oh. You want to get married, raise kids, and not have anyone second guess you being a fit parent or a person worthy of equal rights and treatment? Too bad. You're different.

Obviously minorities should just expect to be treated like second class citizens.

Oh its 2015 and you thought we we're past racism? Too bad. You're different.

When the hell are we going to stop blaming people for these horrible things that happen to them? When are we going to stand up as a community of people and say "Stop. This is wrong."?

When for the love of God are we going to say "Religion is not an excuse to kill people or treat them like shit."

God told us to love our neighbor. God told us love is the greatest gift of all. God told us that we have a responsibility to clothe the naked, feed the hungry, house the homeless.

So shut the fuck up about how you are treating people like shit because that's what God says.

We have a responsibility now to stop this. We have to act and make all of this horror and death turn into something beautiful. We have to stand together.

Nothing is going to change unless we put aside these petty differences and work as a family of equals.

You think that Millennials don't care about what's going on in the world? You think that we just want to take our Instagrams and bury our head in the sand? You think that we are all bleeding heart liberals with no knowledge of how the world works? That's not it.

We hate this. We hate the world we grew up in. We hate the world that we are having to raise kids in. We're done being passive. So stop thinking that we whitewash everything with shades of peace and happiness.

And for the love of God, look at your life and what you are doing and how you are treating people and ask yourself: "If I was shot tomorrow at a soccer game, would I be proud of the way I've lived?"

Will they think I'm crazy if I text back too fast?

Every day that I drive to work, I pass by rows and rows of these little, perfect suburban houses and all I can do is shudder at the thought of ever living in one.

Now before you jump all over me saying that I’m judging the suburbs too quickly, please give me a moment to explain myself: my generation keeps pushing the “married with kids” age further and further back. For women, the average age for becoming a first time mother is now at an all time high of 26 and most marry (if they marry at all) at this age or later on average.

Now I could just go through the article Time wrote with the catchy, yet vaguely insulting title of “Help! My Parents are Millennials!” which was about par for the course considering their equally obnoxious “The ME ME ME Generation” cover article from 2013, but instead of spewing the same nonsense “research” that Time seems to think embodies and explains my generation, I’ll just go ahead and give you my reasons for marrying and having kids later (if at all).

If you haven’t talked to a 20-something recently and heard their loud and dripping with distain sigh in response to the “so, you seeing anyone?” question, let me go ahead and shine some light on this reaction.

Most of the time, we can’t really give you a straight answer as to if we’re “seeing someone” because we don’t even know what classifies as “seeing someone” anymore. We can be “talking” to someone (read: texting somewhere between sporadically or constantly), casually dating a few people, sleeping with someone, spending a lot of time with someone and being romantic but there’s no official title, seeing someone a lot when you are out and hooking up with them after a night at the bars, dating someone with a pledge of “commitment,” or the ever elusive white whale of the boyfriend/girlfriend title.

So the short answer to the “Are you seeing anyone?” question: we actually don’t know.

This is probably why it’s taking us longer to get married. We get so stuck in the endless merry-go-round of nonsense that is 21^st century dating that we can’t even figure out what dating even means anymore. Usually we just kind of end up stumbling into relationships by accident and then after a fairly painful series of “So…what are we?” conversations, you occasionally end up in a relationship.

As someone who goes back and forth every week (sometimes every day) with deciding if I’m done with dating or not, it’s a suuuuuper fun experience (did I make the sarcasm clear enough there?).

Even finding a person to go through this painful dance with is like finding a needle in a haystack that’s on fire.

There are bars, coffee shops, Tinder, OkCupid, Match, speed dating events, friends of friends, work, college, that person who was bold enough to put their number on your Starbuck’s cup, parents’ choices, siblings’ suggestions on and on and on until we can barely keep straight who we’ve met in real life and who we’ve just electronically communicated with.

Imagine for a second analyzing and reanalyzing every single letter you typed in a text message and sending it to four different people to read before you send it to the intended recipient because you weren’t sure if “Okay!” was too enthusiastic a response to a “Let’s grab a drink sometime” message.

See what I mean? It’s like managing a second life totally outside of yourself because you’re not convinced that you, as you are, are good enough for that person getting that message.

We have a million and one ways to get rejected now and you’re asking us why we aren’t settling down sooner? Why would we choose to rush into things when most of us come from divorced/separated/constantly fighting/only-pseudo functioning parents?

We’re petrified of ending up alone, but at the same time we’re petrified of ending up in a relationship that’s miserable, so much so that we sometimes find ourselves backsliding into things that were comfortable and kind of functional at one point so “Why not?” 

Now at one point I know that we’re all going to end up right where we are supposed to be. And as someone who is constantly confused and frustrated by dating I can say with assurance (okay….pseudo-assurance) that we’ll find that person for all of us.

It’s just a matter of timing and chemistry (A la Robin: “And timing’s a bitch”). But we’ll get there.

Just stop rushing us into commitment and making us feel bad about pushing the marriage and babies age up. We’re going to take our sweet time, so you might as well just sit back with the popcorn and relax. We’ll stumble into it eventually.

Coincidence? I think not.

So aside from the fact that one day I may die on my commute from one of the countless people who absolutely cannot drive on the East side, I realized that I have been terrible about writing and I have something hilariously funny to share.

So Sar and I were out last night and as per usual our "one quick drink" turned into three (...typical) and then this hysterical thing happened.

It seriously just embodies my life at this point. I can't help but laugh at it.

Last night, when I got home from the bar, I was getting ready for bed and this asshole left me a creepy as fuck voicemail.

Yeah. So I lied. There's nothing funny about today's post. I just felt that I needed to do something to communicate to the person who called me at 12:56 AM from a blocked number and decided it would be hysterical to leave me an actually terrifying message in which they say my name and say a bunch of things about my blog.

I will be filing a police report about this and releasing all of my permissions for them to go through my phone records to find you. (Think this isn't a real thing? Here, I found the link to the law it falls under so even you can understand it with your obvious lack of basic intelligence).

There are only a handful of people who could have possibly done this considering I got a new number and you must be a good enough friend of mine to have it (that or you're an insane cyberstalker and in that case here's how you can be prosecuted too!).

Whoever did this obviously doesn't know me very well because if you thought you were going to just scare me without any consequences...Surprise! You lost.

I hope your 57 seconds of fun was worth it. If you want to talk to me about it or own up please by all means give me a call or shoot me a text as you obviously have my number.

Happy Thursday, asshole.

XOXO,

Abby

Rock Bottom Has Nasty Spikes and Perspective

I hit absolute rock bottom this last week. And when I say rock bottom, I mean like I basically spent four consecutive days in a perpetual out of body experience. I didn’t know who I was, or where I was, or why I was there. I was saying things to people that terrified them, but I don’t remember any of it. It was a full-blown panic attack about my life. 

Now to say I didn’t see this coming would be ignorant. I had expected it for some time. I just didn’t know how serious and scary it would be. 

For those of you concerned: I’m fine now. I think everything bottomed out and now we’re on our way back up. To the friends and family (mother) who helped me through it/experienced me in the middle of it: I love you so much and I’m so sorry for everything but also so eternally grateful. And to the losers who hit on me in the bar at the beginning of my epic downward slide: Screw you and your “I’m deep” bullshit and P.S. still low-key pissed you made me miss the entire Bills/Browns game. 

Anyway, today’s post: “The Implosion: How one 20-something found out rock bottom hurts a hell of a lot more than expected” 

So turns out I wasn’t dealing with the whole graduating, starting a new yet still not permanent job, casual summer dating, friends all over the place, and living alone for the first time ever thing as well as I thought. 

In a phrase: Adulting is hard. 

After being on the job search for about nine months and getting countless rejections (two in particular) for jobs that thought I was incredibly qualified for, I felt like I was coming to the end of my rope. And yeah yeah, I know how they say just tie and knot and hang on but I was getting so battered by the situation. Like more than I ever thought possible.

So enter the downward spiral. I just felt like I wasn’t getting anywhere. I felt like I had done everything right. I did well all through school. I got into a good college. I worked my ass off in said college. Gained admission to all the academic honors societies, grew into leadership roles in clubs and organizations. Worked summer internships and jobs. I did it all right. 

So what was the one thing that I failed to do? The one thing that I didn’t consider? 

Failure. 

I didn’t even consider the possibilities of roadblocks and hurdles and failings. I just assumed that it would all fall into place “eventually.” And me, being the naturally anxious person that I am, kept getting more and more flustered by the looming deadline of my summer internship coming ever closer. 

So I fell. 

And I fell harder than I ever thought possible. 

I crashed and burned. 

I’ve never, in my life, felt or experienced emotions and life come down so hard on me. So much so that when I woke up Sunday I felt like I had just run a marathon while simultaneously expelling every ounce of emotion I had in my being. 

So after a much needed outdoor church service combined with a solo Yours Truly breakfast run, I finally felt like I had processed my life. And this is what I learned…

You will fail. After college, it’s not all going to be perfect. It’s not going to look how you expected and honestly, you’re probably going to be really freaking confused and flustered for the entire summer and maybe fall after you graduate. 

Now this isn’t to say that there aren’t exceptions to the rule. We all know that one girl/guy who married the love of their life, had the picture perfect wedding, moved to a fabulous new city, and somehow (and this honestly has to be witchcraft) BOTH found jobs. But they are the exception. 

You. You are the rule. (Yes, I stole that from “He’s Just Not That Into You.” Chill.)

You have to prepare yourself for failure. For stumbling. For falling down, hurting like hell, and picking yourself up again.

But it won’t be a waste. You’re going to learn more about yourself in those few (or many) months of pain and suffering and uncertainty than you ever thought possible. And what’s more, you are going to learn how strong you are and how much shit and pain you can take and still walk away from it all. I wasn’t prepared for the pain. I wasn’t ready for the agony of waiting and worrying for months and months for and about jobs that I was going to get rejected from. For wasting time on guys who were going to ghost me. For crying over a job that drained me in more ways than I thought possible while also teaching me more about myself and what I needed than ever.

But I’m okay. I think I survived. And I think this was the worst of it. And I think I can finally see a sparkle of light on the other side of this really freaking long, dark and dismal tunnel. And I’ve decided to give myself until May 2016 to fully transition (because you know, I’m a deadlines person and this one is actually realistic). 

And you know what else? 

You are going to survive too. At times, you are going to look at your life in the coming months and not recognize it or probably even yourself but that doesn’t mean all is lost. 

You will survive. It’ll probably hurt. You’re probably gonna fail...a lot. But you will make it out alive and smarter than before on the other side. You have people. You have hope. And you are stronger than you can possibly imagine.

The Documentation of a Generation

Have you ever gotten annoyed at someone who stopped in the middle of the sidewalk to take a picture of something?

There you are, just minding your own business trying to get from point A to point B when you’re all of the sudden halted in your tracks by some idiotic 20-something whipping out their iPhone to snap a photo of something.

It happens all the time. Concerts. Bars. Sporting events. Family events. Dates. Coffee. Dinner. Etc. Etc.

People are always pulling out their cell phones to document their lives (Wait. Let me take a selfie.) and people are getting increasingly angry about it.

So, a bit of a lighter blog today after the relative heaviness of the whole ghosting/job search/mono things…”Wait, I have to Instagram this!”: The Documentation of a Generation.

With the rise of cell phones with cameras came the creation of applications that allowed us to document our lives. It seemed like everyone was always taking out their cellphones in order to capture what they were experiencing at that moment. They allowed us an easy and convenient way to remember something in the moment.

Then came the rise of social media. And then the offshoot of that in mobile, instant social media (i.e. Instagram, Snapchat, Twitter).

We now had more ways than ever to share exactly what we were doing every second we were doing it.

Cue the entrance of FOMO (That’s “fear of missing out” The more you know…) and the sudden rise of people being so plugged in that they were no longer paying attention to what was going on around them.

Obviously, as with any new thing, a movement started to encourage people to put down their phones, stop taking Instas, and be present in the world around them. (Seriously, how many articles have you read about “Go Dark For Dinner,” “Unplugging Day,” or the infamous Jack White barrage against people taking pictures and videos at his concerts. Yep. It’s a thing. He’ll yell at you in the middle of a set. Best leave the phone in the car.)

But it still hasn’t stopped people from snapping (That’s the verb for using Snapchat if you were curious. Obviously adding “-ing” to the end of something automatically makes it a verb, right?) their way through happy hour and Friday nights downtown.

And you know what? I don’t think that’s necessarily a bad thing.

Now I agree that we all need to unplug and turn off our screens for periods of time just so we can reacquaint ourselves with the world around us. This is why my phone is increasingly kept in my desk at work, in my living room when I go to read before bedtime, and why I try to get outside and run or walk every day committing to at least half my run/walk/frolic without my headphones in.  It helps me to get re-centered after a day spent inundated by screens and constant visual and auditory stimuli.

So consider this alternative opinion about those people stopping to Insta that sunset/skyline/shotski/shrimp scampi: They are doing it because they have found beauty in it and want to save that and share it.

Why is that a bad thing?

“Because I should be able to walk/eat/drink/party without watching some moron take a million pictures of it!”

While yes, I agree there is a line (no one wants to see a million pictures of your face in a club that’s so dark you can’t see your nose) but there is also a genuine value, I believe, in people documenting their lives and experiences in these instant ways.

What’s more, people taking pictures of these things means that they found beauty in them. They appreciated the way the sun shined through the branches of the tree, how a chef laid the steak on top of the potatoes, or what the condensation looked like rolling down their beer glass. And isn’t it a good thing to appreciate that seemingly ordinary beauty?

I think that’s why, more than anything, that we are constantly taking pictures and videos and posting them everywhere. We see something and say “Oh my gosh! That’s stunning/awesome! Everyone needs to see this!” I’d argue that these apps and phones have made us more creative. We see the world as artists rather than just passive inhabitants. We notice things more. Sure maybe that has caused a few people running into trees or challenging our mortality “For the Snap” but hasn’t it also made us see the world more beautifully?

Like everything, you must use it in moderation, but I think with the proper balance, stopping to take a picture of a street fair or your meal before you eat it isn’t an indication of the end of civilization and culture. It’s merely a sign of transition. So before you scoff at another 20-something pulling out their phone to take a picture, consider what they are seeing that is worthy of being documented.

And of course, use caution Instagramming while you walk. You never know when you might run into a tree. 

If You Ghost Someone, You're a Coward.

So there's this thing that 20-somethings do now. Something born out of out relationships being punctuated by Twitter, Tinder, Texting, Snapchat and all of the other ways we talk to each other without actually talking to each other. It's called ghosting.

For those of you that don't know what it is, it's probably happened to you, you just didn't know that it has a name now. So here ya go courtesy of Urban Dictionary (because where else would this be defined)

Ghosting: The act of suddenly ceasing all communication with someone the subject is dating, but no longer wishes to date. This is done in hopes that the ghostee will just "get the hint" and leave the subject alone, as opposed to the subject simply telling them he/she is no longer interested.

So the topic of today's blog: Ghosting.

This came out of me reading a "16 Signs You're About to be Ghosted" article on Thought Catalog. Cue me freaking out that I'm being ghosted which lead to me sending the equivalent of  a "Yo. You still into this?" text to the guy I'm casually (emphasis on the casually because you never know what could happen) dating.


If you're interested he CALLED me. That's right. Called. After he got the message he called and me being a typical post-modern, introvert in the dating world, I just waited for the text (my phone was on Do Not Disturb too so I actually missed the call and read the text first).


Anyway, I was one of the lucky ones who got "Yeah. Of course! I'm sorry if you thought differently!"

So Phew. But back to the blog.


People are starting to write about ghosting more and more but most of the articles are analytical and just painfully out of touch so I thought I should write one. And I'm sorry in advance if this sounds preachy. It's not meant to because this is just as much my sin. So just bear with me.

I'm not saint. I've done it too. And I feel awful about it all the time, but that didn't stop me from doing it to quite a few people. So if you read the title of this blog and got instantly offended because you thought I was being a jerk, I'm sorry for that but it's true...But I also fully admit to the fact that I'm totally a coward too. I didn't have the courage to just be straight up with people and that's terrible.




Modern dating has become so so complicated. We have more ways than ever to communicate with people without actually talking that it's allowed us to do this new thing, ghosting, when we're just "not feeling it" with someone anymore.


So here's how it seems to happen, using my own personal experiences with being ghosted and ghosting people.


You're sitting on your couch, watching Netflix and swiping through Tinder (Tinder, a topic for another blog for sure. Stay tuned).  Anyway, back to the swiping. You find someone who looks promising and swipe right. YAY! It's a match. They message you (or you message them) and you strike up a conversation.

The conversation goes well (or terribly *unmatch*) and you agree to exchange phone numbers. So you text each other all day for a few days and maybe agree to a date. Now. This. This is where you decide if ghosting is going to happen.

The date goes well (from your viewpoint or their's depending on who's going to do the ghosting) and you're excited and anxious and you talk for a few hours over dinner and drinks. Maybe there's a kiss, maybe you go back to one of your apartments, etc. etc.

They text you the next morning and everything seems to be going well. Maybe there's even a second date. Maybe you even sleep together. Who knows?

But then something changes...They stop texting you as much. Or they open your Snapchats but ignore your texts or worse they turn read receipts on and you see the *read at 1:33pm* but its 7:30 now and still no answer. There are a myriad at things that could happen. But it's always the same. It seems to be going well and then all of the sudden...nothing.

You don't get it. It was all going so well! What the hell? But you tell yourself you weren't that invested anyway. It was Tinder after all. Whatever.

But the bottom line is, it still sucks.

Now on the flip side if you are doing the ghosting you do all these things to people. Wait a few hours (or even days) to respond to them hoping that they take the hint.

I've done this. Granted, I usually respond within a few hours for the first few days, I'm not a monster. But then I just stop and usually they take the hint or they don't and it's awful and awkward and approachs stalker status or worse...you get the drunk texts.

"What happened?!" "It was going so well!" "Whatever you're a jerk/loser (pick your expletive) anyway. You lost out." "I miss you. Come back."

It's awful.

I've been ghosted too. The last time it happened I think it was because he got busy with work or something. He was kind enough to respond to my inquiries about if he gave me Mono though (Fear is a great motivator) but it stopped again shortly after.

But it was Tinder. I wasn't invested, right? Their loss.

Wrong. I still had hope of maybe a possible relationship with a nice guy.

So why is ghosting even a thing if it sucks so much?

Because we, as 20-somethings, are so afraid of hurting people. We don't want to make other people feel the outright pain of rejection, so we just slip away quietly and hope that we don't leave too much pain in our wake.

But it still hurts people just as much to just slip away. It leaves even more of the usual post-breakup "Wait...what did I do?" question. And what's worse, you can't do a damn thing about getting the answer to that question. Because you'll get branded as a psycho and slip even further into your perceived "undatable" status.

So here's my proposition, stop ghosting people dammit!

It's so rude and cowardly and just plain mean. Just be honest and tell someone if you're not feeling it. After all, the outcome will still be the same if you send a "Hey, you're really fun and I had a great time, but I think I'm looking for something else" or "Thanks for a great evening! It was great to meet you but I think we could be better friends than anything" or even  better yet "So I don't want to just ghost you. You're a great person, but I just think this was a fun one time thing."

I know, I know. "How mean Abby! That's awful!" Yes. It may be but like, you want them to stop talking to you right? So why not just be honest with them. It'll make it end better for everyone and leave you with less guilt  (unless you're a heartless superhuman) at the end of the day.

Update: Yeah...so I got ghosted like 2 weeks after this. So...predictably. Eh. C'est Le Vie

Taking a Risk

Today started with something I haven’t felt in a very long time: promise.

I actually woke up today, feeling really tired because for some reason I had the irrational fear at five in the morning that I was going to get attacked by a ghost (too many Creepy Catalog articles) and was restless for the hour before my alarm went off at 6. All this meant was that when my alarm did go off I groggily got up, washed my face looked in the mirror, and said “ten more minutes” resulting in me promptly going back to bed with a timer counting down my blissful ten minutes of undisturbed, ghost-fear free sleep.

But back to the promise.

I’ve been struggling for eight months with the job search. As a new graduate, I scrambled from December to graduation in May and beyond to find my home in a company. I met with countless people for informational interviews, sent what seems like hundreds upon hundreds of resumes and cover letters out, filled out endless online applications, and…nothing.

Now don’t get me wrong. I was incredibly blessed and fortunate to find the internship/potential career opportunity I did at the end of May. It allowed me to breathe a sigh of relief, step back, pay my bills, hone my skills, and continue searching a little less frantically. But as this job has been winding down I started to get frantic again.  And I know this is something that every 20-something has/is/or will be (sorry) struggling with. So the topic of today’s post: the bold career move. (I know, way to bury the lead Abby. Just bear with me here)

I applied to all of the jobs I thought I was even remotely qualified for and the rejection letters started rolling in. I was devastated and becoming depressed. So I reached back out to my contacts, set up some more meetings and applied to a few final jobs before taking a breather (one forced upon me by Mono, but a breather nonetheless).

Now I wait. And I’m not a patient person. So I started preparing myself for the big one. The job that is my reach. The one that I would love to have but it would be a one and a million shot of even getting a reply to. That job was one with Buffer.

If you don’t know, Buffer is this super awesome company that has developed a social media tool that helps drive traffic, increase fan engagement, and save time. Basically, it’s a lifesaver for anyone who uses social media in any way. And the company culture is freaking awesome.

They just seem to get it. You can work remotely because they know that people need to live in a place that inspires them, they give you all the tools, technology, and books you could ever need, they make sure that their staff is connected via multiple forms of technology and personal interaction, in a word(s); they know how to make their employees happy. Seriously, go check them out. You’ll be blown away.

So one of the requirements of applying for their company is to read a few books. One of those books is “Delivering Happiness.” It’s a book written by Tony Hsieh, the guy who built Zappos.com. After reading it last night, I got super inspired.

Tony had taken so many risks in building Zappos and it became a wildly successful company because of it. So that got me thinking, maybe it was time for me to take a risk. (Unsurprisingly I came up with this idea in the shower, because like…of course all your good ideas come to you in the shower.)

I decided to take a risk. So I sat down at my computer and applied for a position at Buffer. (If you’re a Buffer employee reading this now, hi, I hope you like this back story :) )

Anyway, this was the letter I sent with my application:

I think I have probably written one-hundred cover letters in the last eight months and every single one has followed the rigid format that all of the job recruiters say you should use. But after writing those cover letters and submitting my resume to countless places on top of reading Delivering Happiness, I decided that it was time to take a risk. I've been far too careful it seems in my life and I feel that I have an opportunity here to not only give you a picture of who I am and why I am applying but to also show you how serious I am about what I want to do in life.

I spent my entire childhood being a reader and a writer and I took that love to high school and college with me. After a failed attempt at being a business minor and feeling lost as a history major, I went back to my true love: English.

I was good at English. I know how to write incredibly well and I love reading and I loved the endless pursuit of collective knowledge that my English classes offered me. I knew that I wanted to find a way to write in a way that helped people somehow, that served them in some greater way, so I chose the Professional Writing track.

I learned how to write in every way I possibly could. I wrote magazine articles, newspaper articles, grant proposals, web writing, advertising, marketing, social media, blogging, academic writing, research-based writing and more. Basically, if they taught it, I took it.

I supplemented my education with three different internships that allowed me to figure out that my true passion was in writing for social media and marketing in all its various forms and I got good at it.

I took a small non-profit and a start-up franchise and boosted their user-engagement, follows, likes, interactions, everything. I was passionate about the research I was doing and even more so about executing it. That was how I stumbled across Buffer. I found Buffer at the end of May when I was looking for a social media service to help the small franchise I had been hired to help as a social media and marketing intern.

After reading about it and seeing how it worked, I was hooked. I have spent the past two and a half months working with Buffer and it has made a world of difference for the franchise I am working for.

Now, for why I want to join the Buffer team. From the second I started clicking around the company site, I knew I wanted to figure out how to work for Buffer. I love the idea of working for a company that is doing exactly what I love doing for the companies that I've worked for. My favorite part of the work that I've been doing for the past three years is teaching people how to use social media and the internet in more efficient ways while also creating awesome content that I can share via those avenues.

Additionally, the concept of remote work is so appealing to me for this reason: I love Cleveland, Ohio. Like probably more than it is healthy to love a city. I'm inspired and driven by the way this city is growing and changing and I want to be here and a part of it for as much as I can.

I know that I limited myself in my job options when I refused to move out of the city I grew to love so much for a job and I hope, with Buffer, that I have found a company that I can passionately work for, while staying in the city I am passionately in love with.

I know that online applications are always a long shot but I feel that I could really serve Buffer well as a Content Crafter or Happiness Hero or Community Champion, but my heart still lies in writing. I love to write. I love to research and I would love to do that for a company as amazing as Buffer. I promise you that if you take a chance on me I will work tirelessly to support all of the efforts of the Buffer team. Teamwork is so incredibly important to me and so many of the jobs that are available right now pull people my age into workplaces where employees are constantly pitted against each other, competing daily for one more call than the other person or $100 more on top of their commission. I don't thrive in an environment like that. I work best in an environment like the one Buffer has obviously worked so hard to create. One where everyone is valued and everyone supports one another and all of the work it towards a common goal.

I promise, if you consider me I will not disappoint you. I want to make a difference in this world and I'm tired of sending out form applications and rigid cover letters to companies that don't have the kind of life-giving environment to their employees that so many people need. I know I took a huge risk sending a letter this long and this impassioned for a job inquiry, but I feel that it was the best way to get my passion and drive across. I hope you'll consider me. I look forward to hearing from you.

I know. I know. Those of you in the business world are gasping at my brazenness, but I needed to do something bold. I needed to try something different. And this was my grand gesture. This was me betting the farm on me. After all, I technically had nothing to lose, so why not write the most honest job application/inquiry ever.

So it’s in their inbox. I got the email receipt confirmation. So now all that is left to do is wait again and be patient and most dangerous of all, hope.  

MoNOOOOOO

So ironically, in my quest to document what 20-somethings think, I got sidetracked by the typical 20-something distractions like boys, friends, Netflix and…wait for it. Mono! YAY!

Yeah so, reason that I’ve been MIA and neglectful about my blog is because I was being a distracted 20-something and I was also apparently becoming infected with THE disease for 20-somethings. 

And for your information, no, I wasn’t just going around kissing random people. I’ve literally asked everyone I’ve had any kind of remote mono-transferring contact with about it and no one has it or has had it in about 3 years.

So, this brings me to the topic of this post: health assumptions about 20-somethings vis-à-vis communicable diseases and illnesses.

I’m a pretty healthy individual in terms of making sure I don’t get sick. I wash my hands, exercise five times a week, get at least seven hours of sleep most nights, eat fairly well, take my vitamins, and take various preventative measures  like downing mass quantities of Emergen-C when I start to feel a bit under the weather and drink tons of water.

Knowing all this, imagine my surprise upon waking up last Wednesday feeling dizzy and faint with a terrible sore throat and headache.

After trying and failing a number of times to just power through what I assumed was a particularly bad day for allergies and the by-product of a wee bit of a late night the evening prior, I emailed my boss and told her that I was sick and proceeded to try and sleep for the next few hours while I waited to go to the Clinic’s Express Care.

By the time I woke up to go to the Clinic, I was convinced that I had to have Strep throat. I couldn’t remember the last time I had felt anything so painful. So I hustled my way over the Clinic and asked to see a doctor about my supposed Strep.

I explained to the nurse and the doctor about my symptoms and my allergies and told them that I was fairly certain I had Strep. They gave me the rapid Strep test, which was negative and then the doctor came in to talk to me.

“So, you have a sore throat and some feelings of lightheadedness?”

Cue me nodding pathetically.

“Well, your Strep test was negative and after looking at your symptoms it looks like you probably have Mono. Does that sound right? Are you tired? Have you been seeing anyone new or kissing random people?”

She asked this semi-condescendingly as if to imply, ‘well, you are at that age.’

I was very much taken aback. Not by her actual question, but in the manner in which she asked it. As if to say: “Obviously any 20-something that comes in here complaining of a wicked sore throat, some vertigo, and a little exhaustion must have mono. It’s like their disease after all.”

I tried to counter.

“Well…yes. I have been seeing someone new, but he doesn’t have Mono to my knowledge and regardless I’m not sure where I would’ve gotten it from besides him. And like, yes, I’m tired. But I also have been adjusting to being a new graduate and being out in the real world so I’ve been tired, but I think that’s normal.”

She looked at me smiling and said, “I’m still going to order a Mono test for you. So just go over to the lab and we’ll have that done. In the meantime here’s some prednisone for the swelling.”

So like a good patient, I went to go get my blood taken and went home to pass out for the rest of the day.

Moral of the story: Yes, I have Mono. No, I don’t know where I got it. And yes, I did spend the next four days in tons of pain and fitful baby sleeps. But, that’s not the issue here.

As painful as Mono is and as much as it sucks, my main problem was with how I was treated by the doctor.

Now don’t get me wrong, I love the Cleveland Clinic. They do great and amazing work, but I did not like being treated like just another stupid 20-something who probably got Mono from a random hook-up. The reality of the situation is that I was a very sick girl who was alone and dealing with actually being truly sick and alone for the first time ever. It was like the first time I got sick at college times 20. And on top of that, the doctor treated me like I was an idiot.

It may be breaking news to some of you, but not all 20-somethings are irresponsible, crazy people who spread communicable diseases like wildfire. Some, like me and most of my friends, take our health very seriously.

We don’t have time to get sick.

There is far too much to do in a day and being sick just isn’t an option for us. Especially for people like me who have to work to pay the rent and other bills. Taking a day off is basically saying “Okay. Guess I won’t eat real food this week…or next week...”

Pardon me for getting up in arms about this and please, if you are a healthcare provider don’t take this as a personal attack, but please please please for the love of everything don’t just assume that we, as 20-somethings, don’t know how to take care of our health. Trust me, we do. We just fall victim to viruses and stuff like everyone else.

We do take care of ourselves contrary to popular belief and we really don’t like getting sick so next time a 20-something sneezes on you, don’t assume you’re going to catch the next, career-ending, lifestyle changing, 20-something disease.

After all, we know how to use Kleenex and Purell too…

Income Cuts? Sigh

So it should be unsurprising to you that growing up and transitioning to adulthood with all of the joys that entails comes with its fair share of difficult adjustments.

Things like knowing that you have to go to bed at a reasonable time for that charming 6 am wakeup and realizing that eating healthy food is a game changer in surviving the 8 to 5 drill. Or coming to the understanding that you really can’t party like you used to because after two beers and two hours at the bar your bed and some Netflix is way more appealing than downing that sickengly sweet flavored shot your luckily-still-in-college friend ordered you.

In addition to all of these fun little life adjustments, there is something that is most likely unique to me that has been a major hurdle and that’s income tax.

Now before you jump all over me for this consider that I have spent the past four years working at a tax-exempt institution.  

I got paid every cent for the hours I worked at John Carroll’s library and while I knew that income tax was a thing, I just never made enough to pay anything come tax season.

So here is my adjustment, my place of employment is no longer tax exempt. So this charming thing happens every paycheck, I get a large chunk of the money I earned taken away from me.

For instance, my last paycheck: I earned $1073, but $52 was taken away for Social Security and a whopping $120 was taken away for federal income tax.

And I know that Federal Income Tax is used for lots of good things like National Defense and Security and Federal programs to help the unemployed and for people who need healthcare and those are all good things but geeze. It’s no wonder there are so many of us living from paycheck to paycheck.

Now I am by no means arguing against the income tax, but losing that $XXX does put a strain on my ability to pay my bills and cover incidentals and I can’t imagine what it is like for people who work 40 hours a week plus overtime and not only get income tax and social security taken out of their pay but also get child support taken out. Can you imagine having to life off of the remains of that paycheck?

I’ve been very fortunate in that I got a great education and that I am on my way to starting a hopefully very successful and fulfilling career, but that doesn’t mean that they realities of a paycheck significantly less than what I earned becomes any easier. Maybe it’s time that the Federal Tax program was reevaluated so that people who worked hard to make their money didn’t get so much of it taken away. If you earn your money, shouldn’t you get to keep the most of it?

I don’t pretend to know everything (or really anything that in-depth) about tax brackets and taxable income, but I do know that I feel that hardworking people are entitled to the wages they earn. Perhaps that should be something that the Federal government looks into because I don’t know about you, but I’d love to keep more of my money. 

Step One: The Idea

So my mother called me yesterday, randomly and out of the blue, like she sometimes does on her way home from work. I put the book down that I was in the middle of and answered her call on the second ring.

"Hi, mom. What's up?" I asked.

"Hi, honey. So I was thinking." Oh no, I thought.

"Yes," I answered hesitantly.

"You should write a book," she said matter of factly.

As it turns out, my mother had seen some of my social media posts over the last few months and had apparently come to the conclusion that I should write a book about the world from the perspective of the Millennials, more specifically, the Internet Pioneers.

Now, contain your inward groaning for a second. I know what you're thinking. Ugh, another blog by some whiney 20-something about how she thinks the world should work. And after you had that thought, you probably finished it with, Internet Pioneer? What the hell is an Internet Pioneer.

So. To handle the first issue. No. I am not just another whiney 20-something. Or at least that's not my aim here, so hold up on the judgement for a hot second. As for the second thought, the Internet Pioneer thought, let me explain.

According to some high brow academics, Jack Myers and his book Hooked Up specifically, the Internet Pioneers are the subsection of the Millennials who were born between 1991 and 1995. We grew up after the first Internet browser, Mosaic, was introduced in 1993. In short, we've never lived in a world unplugged. One without the Internet.

This mobile connectivity has always been a part of our life and we don't know (or want to know for that matter) a world without it. Before some of my peers jump all over me about how they are different and would love a world unplugged, I ask those of you who would say that a question or five).

When was the last time you pulled up an Internet browsers to search for something? Or perhaps used your smartphone to find someplace to eat or to call an Uber or to Instagram? Maybe just yesterday? Just an hour ago? Are you reading this with the help of the Internet now?

Yeah...so...let me complete my thought here.

Apparently, this, the connection to the Internet) has influenced our generation more than we know. We are a generation effected by a technological advancement that became so deeply engrained into our lives that our brains and thought processes have been fundamentally changed by them.

And what's more: we are a bridge generation.

We serve as a connection between our parents and the generation right before us and the other Millennials born after us.

We live between these two worlds and this has monumentally impacted our lives and how we want to live them.

Social scientists and society as a whole have been targeting the Millennial generation for a variety of reasons over the last few years; once we started to grow up and speak out, the world saw that we were a force to be reckoned with.

The world has watched as we have pushed for small incremental changes in the way the world works and was amazed to see that it effected real change.

In the last ten years we've seen the resurgence of the rustbelt cities, the repeal of Don't Ask, Don't Tell, the rise of corporate responsibility, the restructuring of corporate environments, the proliferation of new technology into every aspect of our daily lives, a healthcare system that eliminates the need for the level of care being determined by personal wealth, the "support local" movements, racial biases being addressed, marriage equality being declared a fundamental right and so much more.

But. There's a problem. I've noticed something over the last few years. Instead of speaking for ourselves as the people really pushing the changes, we (the Internet Pioneers) are allowing others to speak for us. We let population metrics, politicians, social scientists, professors, television personalities, and celebrities speak for us. They dictate what we are doing and explain why. And I don't know about you, but I don't want to be spoken for.

So that's why I'm starting this. An examination of one Internet Pioneer's views on life, society, and an inside look into why I think the way I do as a member of this subsection of Millennials.

Okay, so it's a blog and not a book (Sorry, Mom), but what kind of Internet Pioneer would I be if I didn't embrace the Internet?

So I guess here we go.